The Daily Nickel

Can't Nobody Hold Me Down

1. Dirk: "It Doesn't Matter Who's On Me"-  Definitely a provacitive article title, but when you read his comments in context its the same old humble Dirk we know and love... and an absurd selective quotation to get attention bye ESPN.  You know its this same kind of misapplication of out-of-context quotes that has people predicting the rapture this Saturday... (though from the looks of the leader of this ridiculousness, we don't doubt that his time is coming up).

2. Dirk's Two Fingers on the Wrist Starts a Phenomenon- Yesterday we were intent on finding out for you what the whole thing meant, but when we went around town and started putting the "Hand Dirk" to use the results were amazing.  At the exclusive Reunion Ball restaurant Wolfgang Puck's there was an hour and a half wait for chumps that showed up without reservations... chumps that didnt know how to "Hand Dirk."  We were seated immediately at their VIP table reserved for celebrities, elite socialites, and those in the know.  Same trick got us a free taco at Taco Bueno.  Get out there and get your "Hand Dirk" on.

Jerk

3. Kendrick Perkins Knows How He Can Impact Series-  There is no doubt about it, the Thunder picked up Kendrick Perkins anticipating a playoff matchup with the LA Lakers and their three 7-footers.  Now they find themselves in a series with two significant 7-footers, one of which is ridiculous.  Without a chance at stopping Dirk Perkins focus is on Tyson Chandler, and Tyson's lack of offensive presence presents a challenge for Perk.  There is nothing he can do defensively, which is his strength, to disrupt chandler's contributions to the game, and there is nothing he can do offensively to draw his attention away from others, because, well, there is nothing he can do offensively.  His decision: to thug it up.  Upon review the league recognized his thugery and rescinded ther technical assigned to Chandler in their one-sided altercation.

4. Josh Hamiton Homers in Rehab Start- Imagine if Dirk played baseball, and was white.  Re-introducing Josh Hamilton.  For those that know Josh's story he primarily attributes his fade from baseball in his early professional days to the off time stemming from an early injury.  So, it is good to see that in the last month and a half he not only has stayed clean, but kept that loving feeling between his bat and any ball.  It doesn't matter who's pitching.

5. Get Your Hype On- Its Game 2 Time