The Daily Nickel

1. Benji Molina Found Dead- We heard he had lost a few pounds

2. Miley Is Like, So Pissed- This is in the news... for reals?

3. Technical Foul-  The NBA's version of "Mailman Bites Dog"

4. LeBron's Predecessor- Who gets the credit for creating the Prima Donna... Read the D-Fdub exclusive to find out.

How did Lebron become such an irritating diaper bag?

I've always been in awe of Lebron, the talent, but I've always kind of hated Lebron, the person. 

I love seeing a super-talented guy stay humble and Lebron is as proud as they come.  He's got that I'm-amazing-and-nothing's-ever-my-fault attitude.  I mean, how could it be?  He's Lebron.  Seinfeld would call that the I'm Keith Hernandez syndrome.  Obviously, the Decision is high up on my hate list, but it goes deeper than that.  It's the stupid pre-game chalk-throwing that just begs for attention.  It's the fact that he's never really won anything but yet still refers to himself in the third person as King (his twitter name is KingJames).  It's that he doesnt think the rules apply to him, like how he didnt feel like being around for his player introduction this week against the Cavs since the fans their might actually boo him.  It's that after shooting 3-14 in a devestating Game 5 playoff loss to Boston, he mentioned in his post game presser that he "spoils a lot of people with his play" and that he's had three bad games in his seven-year career.  Must be the coach's fault.  The next game we see Lebron's buddy, coach Calipari, sitting courtside......of a playoff game.  From then on, speculation runs wild that Lebron will demand he be the next coach of the Cavs.  I could go on and on.....

Lebron isnt the only guy that acts like this, just maybe the worst offender.  So where did this prima donna crap start and who is truly to blame?  I think I have the answer....

The Daily Nickel

1. Rangers Unveil New Jumbotron- Ranger's fans will now be able to watch replays in HD.  We just hope they're watching Josh Hamilton web gems and not Julio Borbon errors.  Have we mentioned we think they're making a really big mistake gifting this guy the CF job.

2. Mark Cuban Eats Hot Dogs-  The moral of the story is that spending money bothers rich people too.  They are just like me and you... the only diff is they go home to 24,000 square foot homes, trophy wives and spoiled kids on their way to being rotten people.

3. Stephen McGee Hates Old Women-  Really, who doesn't?  They're mean, judgemental, and they smell like mothballs.  At least he's working out and not getting into all kinds of trouble like...

The Daily Nickel

1. The D-Fdub spent the weekend scouting out the Rangers and enjoying the Phoenix weather. After watching games in a number of different ballparks, the most impressive by far was the "Talking Stick River Mud Ballpark" (or whatever the Rockies/Diamondbacks call it). Great views and great food but unfortunately that's the game the Rangers got shelled in.



2. Most surprising Ranger of the weekend was Mike Napoli. He played some decent 1st base, but it was his hitting that really stood out. We'll see how long Yorvit Torrealba holds him off as the starting backstop.

Being a Hero

Some men fight fires, save lives or leap buildings in a single bound to become a hero.

I caught the ice cream man. 

We were hanging out in the yard as a family, mom and me taking turns not paying attention to the kids, and the kids taking turns injuring each other, when that unmistakable old song began to echo off the houses all around us.  Our ears pricked up and the kids and their mom looked at me with begging, hopeful eyes.  I’ve learned to recognize these calls for greatness and I rose to the challenge.  I walked to the front yard in my shirtless state, to pinpoint the music trucks exact location.  It was amazingly impossible, and even worse, the sound was growing fainter.  What a cruel trick for the ice cream man to play… driving by with his music blaring and then speeding away before an appropriately reluctant adult can realistically respond.  I have to admit, I had gotten my hopes for an ice cream glove with a bubble gum ball as well, but it’s just not cool to act all excited.

The Daily Nickel

1. D-Fdub Leaves Mark on Sun City-  Thank you to all the faithful readers that extended gracious hospitality, the Texas Rangers for the tickets and exclusive player interactions, and In-N-Out Burger for the delicious Double-Doubles and chocolate shakes.

2. Mavs Pull Off Win After Sloppy Start- The D-Fdub takes full responsibility for the sloppy start... but, the Mavs wanted to hang Saturday Nights and we had the hook up.  Dirk was as crazy as always, the life of the party as usual.  He jumped into the hot tub from the roof of the condo and repeatedly dunked JJB who had to stand on his tip-toes to breathe anyway.  It was a great night and things didn't get wrapped up until early in the a.m.  So, our bad.

3. Treanor Traded to Royals- We uncovered this story after the Ranger's spring training game against the Rockies at Salt River Fields at Talking Stick.  During an interview of Ron Washington he revealed that Kansas City had unearthed some particularly embarrassing video footage of Mr. Washington partying with two women much younger than he.  He was only concerned that the footage of him, "dancin' around like a toples fool," would ruin his stellar image in the D-Fdub.  The Treanor trade serves as hush money.

The Daily Nickel

1. By scratching out a victory against the lowly Timberwolves last night, the Mavs are now one of only three teams in history to have 50 wins for 11 seasons in a row. I don't know about you, but I'd trade all of those seasons for just one championship.


2. Speaking of the Mavs, the more I watch them, the more I like Tyson Chandler, Shawn Marion, Roddy, and Dirk. The rest of them? Not so much. Unless Roddy and Chandler have a huge postseason come playoff time, it looks like another early round exit. It's hard to believe that Roddy will have much of an impact when he didn't even get to play 15 minutes against the T'wolves. Is www.firerickcarlisle.com available?



3. The Texas Rangers have settled on the final three spots of their rotation. I say give it a month and at least 2 of the 3 starters will be in the minors.

The Daily Nickel

1.  Sagging - Someone tell me why people still do this?

2.  Webb to see team Dr. - I dont really know what it means to not be able to "get loose" but BWebb's cancelled session sounds more precautionary than seriously concerning.  Still, for all us who wrote him into the rotation, this is a little wake-up call to the risks in this risk-reward signing.

3.  The NFL from the eyes of a player's wife - I'm probably not as sympathetic as the many who are touting this article, but I'm not totally unsympathetic either.  Regardless of your viewpoint on player safety, this is worth a read....

4.  NCAA Selection Committee announces sweet 16:  It's the teams that won last weekend.  The D-FDub's picks to get to the Elite 8 are Ohio St, UNC, the Uncle Toms (Duke), the Kemba Walkers (UCONN), the Morris bros (Kansas), FSU, Wisconsin and the Fightin' Jimmers (BYU).

5.  Black dudes rapping about a white mormon off-guard........he must be good.

The Daily Nickel

1. Cowboys stud receiver Dez Bryrant was apparently kicked out of a shopping mall Saturday along with four of his friends. When Dez and his posse belligerently opposed security's request to pull up their pants, they were escorted from the mall. I bet it's safe to say that Bryant's favorite song is not "Pants on the Ground."



2. Texas Tech has hired Billy Gillispie to take the reigns of their struggling men's basketball program. I can't really see this as a good move for Gillispie or for Texas Tech. Why not? It's hard for me to fathom Gillispie, who has greatly struggled with alcohol in the past, to succeed in a place like Lubbock where the two greatest forms of entertainment for people are watching the tumbleweeds roll by and getting drunk.



3. Colby Lewis went 7 strong innings in a minor league start yesterday. Put me down as a believer in Lewis to not only repeat his 2010 success but to exceed it. I just wish we had three more of him to save the Rangers patchwork rotation that they plan on throwing out there to start the season.






4. Commissioner Roger Goodell tells reporters that the NFL has no plans to go with replacement players if the work stoppage affects the upcoming season. When (and if) the season begins, I wish the Cowboys would go against Goodell's wishes by using replacement players....a replacement for Barber, a replacement for Alan Ball, a replacement for Colombo, a replacement for Leonard Davis.....

5. In the same report about Goodell not wanting to use replacement players, we learn that the Dolphins have been fined for violating off-season rules in regards to contacting players. One of the players contacted was quarterback Chad Henne, who was benched last year for both Chad Penningon and then Tyler Thigpen. If I was Henne's coach, I couldn't resist contacting him either, but all I'd be saying is, "don't worry about this work stoppage because you'll be out of a job no matter what happens."

Things Worth Forgetting

Sometimes it’s hard to discern what is worth using our valuable brain space that remembers stuff and what to discard immediately.  Some people work to stretch that part of the brain, called the memoria cerebellum.  They learn numerous foreign languages, recall the millions of pin codes and passwords that life now requires, and store all of their friends and family’s birthdays, anniversaries and social security numbers.  More power to them, but I would never be so careless with such an important part of my brainhead.

This movie might be related

In fact, I try not to remember anything with the faith that anything that is really important will find its own way into my whatchamacallit.  Over time, through hard work and lot s of practice, I have become very successful in my pursuit of zero recall.  I can forget a person’s name immediately after they tell it to me…  I have been known to run to the grocery store for milk and comeback with chips and dip (man, that frito lay bean dip is freakin good)...  I have even trained my kids to respond to each other’s names for the frequent misapplication when they are in trouble.  There are many tools that I use to get me through everyday life without a memory (I found the movie “Memento” particularly helpful… or was it “Inception”?).  I have a rolodex of usernames and passwords that I reference daily so that I can pay bills… and I always put it in the same place so I won’t forget where it is.  My computer tells me when things are happening and if I don’t have time to deal with it, she reminds me every 5 minutes.  I’ve also really enjoyed the relief from gift giving duty that came with marriage.  Now all I need is for my computer to tell me when my wife’s birthday and our anniversary are so I can send my secretary to get her something.

I’m telling you, people that remember stuff are missing out.  I can enjoy movies over and over again and feel the suspense at the end every time.  Once a year I show up really early for work because I don’t change my clock for daylight savings time (assuming I still have work, after the bad daylight savings time when I showed up really late).  I’m also extremely trustworthy with secrets and surprises… in fact, I will probably be as surprised as everyone else even if I already was told about it.  Most people feel uncomfortable when someone starts up conversation with them and they can’t put a name with the face, but I have become a professional at faking recognition in these everyday situations.

All this mind-space saving has allowed me to realize what’s important in life… the things that seep in and stay there… like my batting average in 3^rd grade, my phone number growing up and the names of all seven of Snow White’s dwarfs. 

The Daily Nickel

1.  Holland Expects a Spot in the Rotation-  Holland has had an impressive Spring and the general consensus is that he has earned a spot whether Feliz comes out of the bullpen or not.  The Dutch oven certainly thinks he's nailed it.  I'm sure he's prepared to demand a trade if things don't go his way.

Haters still think this was unnatural

2. NFL Players Don't Trust Owners- Turns out Bradie James is a little slow.  Fans across the D-Fdub have known that Jerry Jones is a lying, no-good, so-and-so ever since he ran off Jimmy.

3. Bonds Jury Members Selected- The over-reporting of his perjury case begins with a detailed bio sans names of each individual juror.  Juror #42 sounds hot.

4. The World's Greatest Extra- You've seen Jesse Heimen before... He's the World's Greatest Extra.  He’s a lover… Not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so Don’t get any ideas.



5. Things Worth Forgetting-  Read this... it will change your life.  Just kidding, I can't even remember what it's about, but read it anyway and if it changes your life remember who told you so.

The Daily Nickel

One of a million layups

1.  Mavs Lose to Spurs- Another example of the Mavs struggles against teams with all-star penetrating guards.  Both Parker and Ginobili drove to the hoop at will.  This article gets it mostly right, although I think it could mention that there were 4 or 5 calls that were definitely disputable and all went the Spurs way... the halftime show was fantastic though.

2. Mavs Rebound Against Warriors- Always a good team to have scheduled after a tough game, the Warriors did not dissapoint.  The Mavs got the win going away 101-73.  The game cliched a playoff spot for the Mavs and brought them within one game of their 11th straight 50 win season.

3. Borbon Fumbling Away CF Job- The D-Fdub has said all along that the best Ranger lineup is Hamilton is CF and Murphy in LF and Julio Borbon is proving us correct, just not in the way we expected.  He's actually hitting much better than expected at .345, but he's committing too many errors in the field.  We stand by our position even if we have to change our reasons.

4. Young Still For Sale- The Rangers are even willing to eat half of his salary.  All they are asking for is some high-end prospects and there is NO interest.  Must be humbling for a guy that thought he was good enough to demand a trade just weeks ago. 

Jimmer Time

5. Jimmer Time-  The Sweet 16 is up next and the guy to watch is Jimmer Fredette.  He can shoot from half-court or dive cut to the hoop and his name is fun to say.  He is well on his way to getting drafted way too high and having a quiet and dissapointing NBA career.

The Daily Nickel

1. Morehead State Starts the Tourney Off Right- Everyone that loved Louisville just lost every reason to watch the tournament... and the handful of Morehead fans that blindly picked their team to win jumped to the head of their bracket pools.

2. Man Posing as Officer Pulls Undercover Cop Over- Woops, but seriously who hasn't posed as an officer to pick up chicks.

3. Have You Seen This Video?- Have you seen the commercial where Dwight Howard and LeBron don't know who Larry Bird is?  This was the first take...



4. Cash, Credit or Cell Phone-  Are you like me and exhausted from lugging around the burdensome weight of all that cash and those awkward-to-carry credit cards.  Finally someone has answered our cries...

5. Fantasy Factory Season 4-  You know what was good... Rob and Big.  You know what else... Fantasy Factory.  Imagine the two of them combined?!?!  Yeah, its happening.

The Daily Nickel

1.  Chris Davis wants out - The negative influence of Mike Young's constant trade demands (it didnt just happen this year) is apparent when spare-ish guys like Chris Davis start asking for trades.  Yeah yeah, I know CD is tearing it up again (w/ another HR last night), but that's what he always does.  Dont worry, he'll strike out plenty come regular season time.   Still, with our track record of giving up on first basemen too early (Carlos Pena, Adrian Gonzalez), I wouldnt be trading CD anytime soon. 

2.  Mavs rally to beat GS - With Peja down, the Mavs started Brewer who helped the Mavs to an early 18pt deficit.  Fortunately we have Dirk and they dont.  We're now tied with the Lakers for 2nd with 14 games to go and a big one tomorrow when the Spurrrrrs come to town. 

3.  Sad story......and the reason I dont coach 3rd during softball games.

4.  Ignore responsibility and get your brackets done. Obama has.  Here are some tips....

5.  Well that was quick - Bachelor Brad and Emily are done.  She didnt like the idea that he was hooking up with a bunch of other girls while at the same time dating her, meaning she has apparently never seen the Bachelor before.  Where is that body-slamming fat kid when you need him....

The Daily Nickel

1.  Mavs Fall toTrailblazers-  If the playoffs were to start today this would be the Mavs matchup... and this one was difficult to watch.  The Mavs desperately need another consistent scorer behind Dirk and watching Roy breakdown our D and get to the hoop repeatedly was reminiscient of so many other playoff series gone bad.  I should have just called it a night after Glee.

2.  Rangers Still Searching for Rotation-  Early on the indication was the Feliz would have to be a top 3 starter to make the move from the bullpen.  Now we hear that he is one of the top 4 contenders for the final two spots, one of which is only available because Webb won't be ready for a while.  Its funny that we spend so much time worrying about the rotation when it always ends up changing eleventeen times by mid-August.

3.  Cruz Dropped in Batting Order-  Cruz got pre-Spring pump as a possible home run champ in the coming season.  So far it looks like he's swinging like it.  Supposedly he has found the hole in his swing after noticing that he's leaving too much wait back.  I've also noticed with my kids that sometimes they close their eyes and opening them makes them better... somebody should check that out.

4.  Jerry Jones Leading Lockout-  We are so sick of hearing about his stadium and how he grew up and how he won three Super Bowls.  His latest negotiation tactics show that he is quickly approaching the ego level of Al Davis.

5.  Bully Gets Dropped-  Don't ever pick on somebody that is bigger than you... and watches pro wrestling often

The Daily Nickel

1.  Feliz wants to be a starter again.... - Sometimes honesty is not the best policy, like when your wife asks if you like her outfit, when your boss asks if you're busy, or when a reporter asks if you'd rather close when you know the club desparately needs you to start.  Neftali clearly must not be married, bc he'd know by now when to tell the truth and when to give the "right" answer.

2.  Tressell apologizes for cheating - Nefatli take note:  here's a guy who has learned not to tell the truth.  Clearly must be married.  My favorite part of his apology was "I also apologize because I'm going to have some sanctions."  I already knew he was only sorry bc he got caught.  I just didnt expect him to say it.  Apparently, Jim still has some things to learn.... 

3.  Pitching Helmets?? - We're not there yet, but we're getting closer.  After last night's bloodbath, I'm thinking these need to be implemented in rec softball leagues all over....

4.  Brad picks Emily - According to facebook, most women I know as well as their pathetic excuses for husbands agree that the Bachelor guy picked the right girl for once.  Like any self-respecting man, I dont watch this crap, but for what its worth my eyeball tests confirms he picked correctly....

5.  Heat destroy Spurs - I know the talking heads have to make polarizing statements to get attention, but after a month of them telling me the Heat are just an average team, they start proving what I already knew.....if you have the 2 best players in the league on one team, you'll probably be pretty freaking awesome....

The Sleep Battle

This morning the shrill sound of my alarm interupted the extreme bliss of unconciousness.  Its at times like this that I find myself envying my friends in comas.  There are many sounds I find more pleasant than the one that occurs daily in my bedroom (usually 3 or 4 times)... like fingernails on a chalkboard, The Macarena, and the contagious sound of puking.  Thankfully, God knew this and when he created the alarm clock he graciously equipped them with the glorious snooze button.  I guess in the olden days man was stirred from slumber by the rooster, and his decision was to wake up or kill the rooster, but now-a-days we find ourselves in a daily struggle between Sleep and Responsibleness. 

Responsibleness tells me to get out of bed, but Sleep argues that 9 more minutes won't hurt anyone.  Responsibleness counters that the extra time was already accounted for when the alarm was set for 7:40 rather than 7:30, and Sleep responds with a yawn and his greatest weapon, Subconcious.  Subconcious is Sleep's henchman, and he answers to only one.  How else can you explain his laissez faire attitude when I get up to pee in the middle of the night and bump into or step on every obstacle possible, yet at Sleep's command he precisely directs my flailing arm to the exact destination that is the snooze button.  I have found that Suncouncious can pull this move off 5 to 10 times without Responsibleness getting a word in edgewise.  Sleep is so persuasive everytime his turn comes up, "No way was that 9 minutes, the alarm just went off," SLAP!  "Its only 7:58, might as well take it to the 8's," BOOM!  "This dream has a great ending that you do not want to miss." POW!  As I slink into work 30 minutes late Responibleness shakes her condescending, nagging head.

Every once in a while Responsibleness get things going the night before.  She lays out the next days outfit, pours the cereal into a bowl, and sets the timer on the coffee.  I throw her a bone and let her call the shots the next morning... and I regret it everytime.  Not only is there the extra time in the day that I have to deal with because of waking up earlier, Sleep is a vengeful loser.  He'll make sure and wake me up one minute before the alarm goes off for the rest of the week... even when the alarm isn't set on Saturday.  Then he'll sneak up on me while I'm listening to someone's boring story, or reading a book, or driving.  He'll attack when I'm just trying to relax and ruin a perfectly enjoyable afternoon of watching golf, or a movie night.  Whenever he mercifully allows me to return to irresponsible morning behavior I make sure to spend as much quality time as possible with him for a while to smooth things out.  I have even been known to carve out some special one-on-one time in the office parking lot at work, plan my weekends around his schedule and start planning our next hang out session immediately after finishing the previous one.  Responsibleness likes to toot her own horn and spout mad noise about how she can lead you to bigger and better things if you'll just listen to her, but ask yourself this... When was the last time a doctor recommended 8 hours of Responsibleness?

The Daily Nickel

1. Mavs Fall to Lakers-  The Laker's with Kobe, Pao and Odom Kardashian are beatable, but when Andrew Bynumplays like an all-star and scores 20+ they're pretty unbeatable.  Some dud won a 82-inch TV for making a half-court shot though, which had to make the largest Mavs crown ever feel a little bit better about the day.

2. Beltre to Debut Today-  The Rangers finally get to see first hand what they spent all their off-season money on.  Unfortunatey, early reports don't look good for him becoming an ace in the rotation.

3.  More Greenberg News-  His exit seemed to come from left field, but upon further review it seems like it more likely came from a man who was more often found on the pitcher's mound.  It doesn't take much around here to beat the public perception of the old Ranger's owner, but don't cross Nolan...we've all got his back.  Not that he needs it, he's the Chuck Norris of baseball.

4.  NFL Union Decertifies, Lockout Begins-  The lockout will hit hardest for teams, like the Cowboys, that are installing a new system on offense or defense. Supposedly the players spent extra time preparing to counteract the negative impact from the lockout by learning Rob Ryan's system before the lights went out. 

5.  It's Bracket Time-  College basketball is unbearable until these brackets come out.  Then we all spend countless hours filling out as many different brackets as we can so that we might end up with one that does decent and we can pretend like we knew what we were doing.  This year I'm picking the teams with the lowest graduation rate... foolproof.

The Daily Nickel

1.  "Soft-gate" - Years ago, I hated Karl Malone and the Jazz for a reason I cant really remember, but I'm sure it was deserved.  That illogical hatred is now focused squarely on David West, CP3 and the Hornets.  We all know Dirk and West dont get along, but West tries to punk Dirk everytime they play and like Carlisle, I'm sick of it.  Its not enough to get them back on the scoreboard (something we've sucked at).  Sometimes you need to have to send a different kind of message.  Mine would involve the Janitor or Crazy Deshawn knocking the crap out of him.....

2.  Mavs rout Knicks - Nuevo York just aint that good.  Knick apologists will claim Chauncey's absence as a reason for the blowout, but his presence wasnt keeping the Mavs under 120pts.  I dont care how much you can fill it up, no team that regularly gives up 115 pts (127 in this case) can be taken that seriously.  Just ask the Suns, Warriors or Nelly's old Mavs....

3.  Livin' the life - Fairly average 5'11 guy, coming out of nowhere to make millions playing on a good team in the NBA......I always thought JJ Barea had it all, but it wasnt until this week I knew I was right....

4.  Greenberg resigning??? - Word on the street is Rangers CEO Chuck Greenberg could resign as early as today after only 7 months on the job.  The reason being thrown around is disagreements with management, namely Nolan Ryan.  D-Fdub sources tell us the dispute stems over Michael Young, with Nolan wanting him gone and Greenberg wanting him here  We'll keep you updated on the latest.....

5.  RoddyB's minutes - Playing under 15 minutes in most games has had Mavs fans frustrated and wondering what kind of mind games Carlisle is playing with the young guy.  Rick's saying its all about conditioning.  Assuming so, we should see an increase in PT for Roddy as playoff time nears.  Now, if we could just get a downtick in his turnovers....

**Bonus Penny** - Shout out to my alma mater, the Colorado Buffaloes, for beating K-State for the 3rd time this year, sending them to their first ever Big 12 tourny semifinal and hopefully sealing an at-large bid to the dance.  I dont allow myself to get excited by Colorado bball very often, now please dont make me regret it by getting blown out by Kansas today.....

The Daily Nickel

1.  Rubio to Mavs - well that's a new one.  No idea what we'd have to give up, but I'm pretty sure of two things:  1. that JJB is really small and 2. that JKidd will die before RoddyB becomes a true PG.  So yeah, I'm open to this 12 year old....

2.  Tiger's trust issues - Hello pot, this is kettle, you're black.  Tiger complaining that he has trouble trusting women right now causes my eyes to roll more than when DWade pouts about the whole world being against the Heat.

3.  Tiki Barber coming back - Everybody who wants a 36 year-old broke running back who's been out of the league for 4 years cheating on his 8-month pregnant wife with an intern and who's last team turned really good as soon as he quit on them so then he bashed the coach and quarterback only to bitterly watch them win the superbowl anyway, please raise your hand....

4.  Is Corey Brewer any good? - He's supposed to be a Bruce Bowen type.  Problem is he cant shoot worth a crap (26% 3P%, 38% FG% this year) and at 6'9'' and about a buck fifty I'm not sure he's got the quicks to stay with the league's elite 2's (Kobe, DWade) or the mass to stay with the great 3's (Lebron, Melo).  Still, if he can get this classic Bowen maneuver down, we could be onto something....

5.  Winning, duh... - Cuban and Sheen in talks to do a TV show on Cube's network.  While I kind of can't get enough Charlie Sheen right now, I'm pretty sure this would get old in about 30 seconds.  On the plus side, Sheen's insanity will be a very useful resource for thousands of middle-aged men this fall when they are trying to think of a name for their fantasy football team....

The Daily Nickel

Player of the 3rd Quarter

1. Cardinal Helps Mavs Fly Past the T-Wolves- Get it, cuz cardinals are birds. He wasn't really the key to the game, but he did hit four 3-pointers. He even made 3 in a row at one point (before missing 3 in a row) and we figured it was our only shot to use our clever cardinal headline.

2. Chandler To Return Wednesday- The last couple of games have been a painful reminder of what life is like without an athletic center. Haywood does a pretty good job of being fundamentally sound, but the Mavs keep forcing minutes on a mistake prone Ian Mahinmi just because they can't stand how slow he is. Glad to have you back Tyson.

3. Neftali Likes Closing Better- That experiment didn't last long. Supposedly the Rangers are going to keep working him as a starter for a little while longer, just so he knows it wasn't his idea to give up on the idea. The last thing we want to do around here is enable another Michael Young attitude. Neftali defended himself in an exclusive D-Fdub interview, "I no has be like Michael. He not really that good anymore, but they says we have to say he good leader if anybody asks."

4. Ranger's CF Pedro Borbon?- I'm sure they'll change it soon, but this morning it was funny to see ESPN use a random hispanic name when they didn't know Borbon's real first name. The author of the article gets his name right, but little else. Anyone that has watched Borbon play for the Rangers know that he doesn't get on base enough to utilize his speed and makes too many mistakes in the OF and has too weak of an arm to justify an everyday spot in the lineup. Meanwhile, David Murphy has more than earned his spot with clutch hitting and solid defense (with a strong arm). Stop over-reacting to Hamilton's fragility and put him in CF where he belongs and let the Murph-Dog eat.

5. NFL Agreement Close- We knew you guys could do it. Just sit down across a marble table with tall glasses of perrier and work it out like normal people.

The Daily Nickel

1.  Friday Night Corey Brewer Came Out Swinging-  He fouled 5 times in 5 minuntes and missed his two freethrow attempts to go scoreless.  Other than that things went well, as the Mavs stretched the winning streak to 8.

2.  Then on Sunday night The Grizzlies Hit Buzzer Beater to end the streak.  The Mavs gave up more points in the 3rd quarter (41pts) than they did in the entire 1st half (38 pts).  Both Dallas losses in the last 20 games have come by one point.

3.  Chris Davis Tearing Up Spring Training-  Yeah, yeah, we've seen this from him before.  Still it's good to see him acting more like Cruch than Kris (with a 'K').  Nellie Cruz was once a stud minor leaguer that could not successfully transition to th bigs, so we'll aplly his story to every guy that we like that struggles with the major league jump.

4.  NFL Lockout Delayed Again-  We would like to believe that this is promising, but more than likely both sides are just stalling to try and figure out how to spin this thing right so that it looks like the other is at fault for the inevitable litigation to come.

5.  Eight year old Stevo Poulin doesn't sleep with a night light because he's afraid of the dark.  He does it because the dark is afraid of him.

The Daily Nickel

1. Neftali's Start-  Scorelessness is good, but control was lacking.  As long as he's only pitching two innings there isn't much difference from what he was doing as a closer.  Crush Davis is lighting it up at the plate and holding it down at 3rd base defensively... he's the D-Fdub's favorite player that has never done anything good in the big leagues.

2. Mavs Sign Brewer-  Nothing much new here, save the interesting tidbit that Brewer turned down more money elsewhere to become a Maverick.  Anyone expecting much impact from Brewer this season will likely be dissapointed.  He may bring some quality defensive minutes off the bench, but he won't get off it much in meaningful moments.  He is young though, and has strong potential for contributing more in the years to come.

3. NFL Lockout Delayed- The owners and players finally agreed on something... to delay the lockout by 24 hours.

4. Bob Sanders to theCowboys?- Could be a good fit, even if he only plays half the season. The Cowboys haven't had a playmaker at that position since Darren Woodson, and they've never had anyone that fast back there.

5. Mansion For Sale-  Apparently Jamarcus Russell isn't any better at real estate than he was at football.  His house is set for foreclosure now.  Sometimes you never get around to winning some.

Get Ahold of Your Love Handles

None of us are ever going to look like this...

But who want to look like this guy?





Looking great is nice but there are some more serious health related things that are more important.

The Daily Nickel

1.  Mavs likely to sign Brewer today-  He's 6'9" and only 25.  The starting 5 are looking a little old and slow with Peja and Dirk both out there.  Peja, at this point in his career, brings nothing defensively and is little more than a great spot up shooter.  I would like to see Marion or Brewer take over the starting role and still have the other one available off the bench.  This gives us two long atheletic defenders, and its getting exciting up in here.

2.  Hamilton starts in CF-  The D-Fdub believes the Ranger's best lineup has Josh in CF and Murphy in LF.  Its fine to hope that Julio Borbon can be your CF, but its noce to see that the Rangers are making him earn it and preparing for contingency plans by getting Josh the reps he needs.

3.  Jon Daniels extension-  One time I ran into Jon Daniels at Central Market in Southlake.  We nodded at each other, I gave a, "good job making the Rangers awesome" nod, and he gave a "Thanks, I'm awesome" nod back.  Long story short, I'm happy for my good friend Jon and his financial stability getting squared away.

4.  Neftali Feliz gets first start-  He needs to prove he can be a top 3 in the rotation for the Rangers to pull the trigger... just like CJ Wilson did to leave the closer spot last year.  Mark Lowe is the front-runner to take over if there is an open closer role, we're penciling him in as a potential starter in 2013.

5.  NFL lockout looms-  This isn't funny anymore.  We can deal with scrapping pre-season games, or not, and even with the ramifications from changing the regular season schedule,or not, but if any of this crap affects fantasy football the D-Fdub is going Mel Gibson on everyone.

The Daily Nickel

1. A year after scoring the fourth most runs in the American league with a patient, "wait for the perfect pitch" type philosophy, the Rangers are now tweaking their offensive philosophy in 2011 with new hitting coach, Thad Bosley. Bosley is encouraging hitters (like Julio Borbon, Elvis Andrus, and Josh Hamilton) to be more aggressive at the plate to take advantage of favorable pitches earlier in the count. Unfortunately, that same philosophy worked so well in the past for the Rangers' with Rudy Jaramillo that it netted them a total of zero playoff wins. Come back Clint Hurdle. We miss you already.

2. Bengals' starting quarterback Carson Palmer has threatened to retire if the only NFL team that he's ever played for doesn't trade him this offseason. After several lackluster seasons at the helm for Cincinnati, how is this a threat? Shouldn't they be planning his retirement party for him?

3. ESPN's Marc Stein explains the reason why this years Mavs aren't the usual 'Lose in the First Round Mavs' and his reasoning essentially begins and ends with one name: Tyson Chandler. Steiny-Mo argues that Tyson is the perfect complement to Dirk, and after years of being stuck with stiffs like Erick Dampier, the Mavs finally have a center to anchor their defense as well as keep opposing defenses honest by having to guard him. I love Stein's logic, but I hate that our dreams and hopes rely solely on a man who played only 96 games the previous two seasons due to injuries. In fact, the Oklahoma City Thunder once traded for Chandler, but reneged on the deal when they got a closer look at his medical history despite being desperate for a starting center.

As I was starting to watch the Mavs-Sixers game last night, I was thinking to myself, if Chandler is what makes us different this year, and he's been brittle in the past, we may be sunk. Sure enough, I unintentionally jinxed the Mavs and Tyson rolled his ankle in the 2nd quarter of the game. Initial reports have listed the injury as just a sprain. Let's hope that Tyson drinks his milk so he can hold together for the long haul this year. Apparently, our hopes rest on him.

4. Speaking of the Mavericks, Peja Stojakovic just doesn't do it for me as the starting small forward. His shot has been mediocre at best, and his shot selection has no conscience or morals.

As mentioned in the D-Fdub Daily Nickel yesterday, Corey Brewer is on the Mavs' radar, and I for one would be excited to add him to see what he could do. Brewer has averaged about the same amount of points this season as Peja in almost the same amount of minutes, but it's his defensive ability that intrigues me. With Roddy and Dirk taking most of the shots for the first unit, it'd be nice to get another slasher and capable defender out there to carry the torch of guarding the oppositions best player until Marion comes off the bench.

5.In NHL news, oil and gas man Douglas Miller has put in a bid to own the Dallas Stars...oh wait, I'm sorry, no one cares about hockey. Why can't Sportscenter learn that?

The Daily Nickel

1.  Corey Brewer, anyone? - Knicks are buying out the former NCAA champ and I'm hearing the Mavs are looking to sign either Brewer or Pavlovic to fill our empty roster spot.  Pavlovic played aight while he was here, but give me Brewer.  We've already got a Pavlovicy guy in Peja and Brewer adds youth, length and athleticism a la Josh Howard, less some of the crazy.

2.  Tony Parker out 2-4 weeks...  The "insurmountable" lead the Spurs have over the rest of the west doesnt seem so insurmountable to us in Mavsland anymore.  The French adulteress and his 17ppg/7apg could be out a month and with the Spurs facing the Lakers, Mavs and Heat (twice) in the next 10 games, the streaking Mavs could make a serious run at that 1 seed....

3.  Bud Fox is officially insane... Seriously

4.  Too smart for his own good? - Let me first say, I feel Greg McElroy's pain.  People dont understand the prejudice against guys who are athletic, smart and good looking like Greg and I.  That being said, it wont be the Southlake kid's oversized brain that keeps him out of the league so much as questions over armstrength.  Either way, the D-Fdub's rooting for him...

5.  Young gets his first start at 1b... - Call me crazy, but if I spent an offseason afraid and complaining that I might not get to play in the field, I think I'd show a little more enthusiasn when given the chance to do so.  Instead of saying, "it was unusual," maybe go with "felt great! I love first base!"  Just sayin...